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 Michael Jordan will be inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame this September. As part of the enshrinement, MJ will be introduced by a current hall of famer.
But who to choose? Jordan’s career spans over 20 years from his freshman year at UNC to his final season with the Wizards. Who could possibly be worthy to introduce the greatest player in NBA history? And more importantly, what would that person say?
To whittle down the list, we chose nine current Hall of Famers and two other worthy candidates (MJ doesn’t need to totally abide by the rules) and thought about what they could possibly say. With that, we present “Hall of Fame Introductions for Michael Jordan.”
 Phil Jackson
“…I think MJ was great in his time. But he worked within the framework of the triangle offense. And really, that’s the key to his success. I’m not saying anyone can win with that offense, but I just won my tenth title with the likes of Sasha Vujacic and D.J. Mbenga. Did you know that’s more titles than Red Auerbach won? I’ll be over at the shrimp buffet signing autographs of my new book. It’s a re-telling of ‘Dharma Bums’ with a basketball twist. Oh, and congratulations, MJ.”
 Charles Barkley
“…I don’t know what I can say about MJ that hasn’t been said. He’s the best basketball player ever. He’s even a pretty good golfer. The only thing I could ever beat him at was eating. One time we each got six-foot party subs. I finished mine in about an hour, but he was begging for mercy after about two feet. You’re the greatest, Michael, but you’d be a lousy fat guy.”
 Clyde Drexler
“…A great historical figure cannot rise to the occasion without a worthy foe. Kennedy needed Nixon, and Sherlock Holmes needed Moriarty. And though I’m sorry Isiah Thomas couldn’t be here today, I’m glad to stand here as one of the many backs MJ had to break on his way to greatness. I can honestly say that the beatdowns he gave me during practices before the 1992 Olympics caused me to cry nocturnally, even to this day. But hey, I picked up two rings during that short time that he was playing baseball, so I can’t complain. Thanks for the rings, Michael. Clutch City!”
 Magic Johnson
“…I don’t know how to accurately describe MJ. When he’d drive the ball down the lane, Michael was like Moses parting the Sea of Tranquility. His jump shot was smoother than John Coltrane on ice skates. I just loved competing against him. Every time we beat Jordan’s Bulls, I felt like General Patton when he defeated the Spanish Armada. MJ’s the one guy you feared the most. In fact, I still fear him. I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve spoken to him in 10 years.”
 Larry Bird
“…I’m not a man of many words, so I’ll just repeat what I said after MJ’s 63 point game in the 1986 playoffs. When I watch him play, sometimes I think it’s God disguised as Michael Jordan. Nowadays, I wish I had a guy with half of his talent on the Pacers, but instead, I’m stuck with Mike Dunleavy. Congratulations, Michael.”
 George Gervin
“…You know, if it wasn’t for MJ, I think kids these days would know who the hell I am. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be selling Iceman t-shirts in the back.”
 Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
“…MJ’s achievements are pretty remarkable. I mean, sure, he doesn’t lead the NBA in all-time minutes with 57,446, but he managed to find his way into the top 20, just behind Scottie Pippen. And sure, he didn’t create an impossible to block shot like the skyhook, but his dunks were pretty solid . And hey, “Space Jam” was a good movie, it was almost as funny as “Airplane”. You may not have my stats, MJ, but you’ve done pretty well my friend.”
 Julius Erving
“…I am very honored to be up here today. MJ’s career only overlapped with mine for three seasons, but I’ve always wanted to say one thing to him … Thanks for stealing all my moves, jerk.”
 Dean Smith
“…I hadn’t won a title before MJ came along. But unlike Phil Jackson, I couldn’t ride his coattails forever. I just hope that basketball fans always remember that I coached Michael Jordan in college, and not that wiener John Wooden, or that weirdo Mike Krzyzewski. Eat it, John and Mike. Dean Smith out.”
 Charles Oakley
“…I know I’m not a hall of famer, but I wanted to tell a quick story before I head back to the shrimp buffet. One time, me and MJ were kicking it at the Bellagio. We’d been playing poker all night, and MJ was up $250,000 with just he and the dude from “Family Matters” left at the table. It’s 4 in the morning, and man MJ goes all in with eight-nine offsuit, so Urkel has to pony up or leave the table. Dude goes all in, and he throws down pocket rockets. I’m looking at MJ like he’s dead to rights. But wouldn’t you know it, Mike catches the straight on the river. Quarter million won right there. Urkel is toast. MJ takes his wallet, his daddy’s watch…MJ even took his shoes. Poor guy had to walk home barefoot!….Best night of my life. You’re the best, MJ.”
 Kwame Brown
“….I’m not a hall of famer either, but I came here to tell MJ that he ruined my career. I could have been a Hall of Famer too if he hadn’t drafted me. He still won’t look me in the eye. What did I do wrong, Michael. You chose me, you chose me!!”
Jackson, Bird photos courtesy of Yahoo! Sports via Getty
All other photos courtesy of Flickr
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