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As the saying goes, when one door closes, a window opens. So a long as you're into climbing through open windows, it all evens out.
The closing door, in this case, was slammed earlier this week on 28-year-old, Olympic silver medalist Kim Willoughby, who was sentenced earlier this week to five years probation for assaulting Sara Daniel, someone she did not know, outside a club in Honolulu two-and-a-half years ago.
 The punishment doesn't stop at probation. Oh, no, no. This attack happened in Hawaii, a place in which you'd have to be extremely angry to want to fight. So along with probation, both anger management classes and over $2,000 in medical bills for Ms. Daniel are forthcoming. So what happened? The volleyballer apparently hates when fights she's trying to start are stopped by a third-party.
That third party, in this case, was Sara Daniel, who broke up a fight Willoughby tried to start. Still steaming, Willoughby followed her outside the club and beat her until her nasal bone and eye socket were both broken.
And now you're probably thinking this representative of our great nation got off fairly light, right? Well, maybe. Except that Willoughby is allegedly a steroid user. In May, the Italian Olympic Committee announced Willoughby had tested positive for a steroid, nandrolone. Although Willoughby denies it, she can't disprove it and her Italian team therefore hasn't paid her in months.
So, she's broke. So broke, in fact, that she's in danger of being unable to pay the minimum $50 a month fee for Daniel's medical bills ordered by the court. And if she can't pay, guess what that probation will suddenly turn into?
Ironically, if she wasn't on the 'roids, she'd be less likely to get into fistfights with strangers, which would likely keep her from bashing in strangers' faces, which would halt her need to pay strangers' medical bills, which she would hypothetically be able to pay because she would not have been bounced from her team.
That sound you hear is a jail door slamming shut
Honestly, I can't think of a worse person to accidentally get into a fight with than an overly aggressive Olympian. Maybe a barracuda. I hear those suckers are nasty.
That sound you hear is a Australian window opening
Much like Willoughby, Aussie swimmer Nick D'Arcy couldn't keep his hands off fellow swimmer Simon Cowley and it cost him dearly. About 17 months ago, the butterfly swimmer punched up Cowley's jaw, eye socket, cheekbones and nose in a bar fight that ended with Cowley on a stretcher and D'Arcy off the Australian Olympic team headed to the Beijing Games.
He ended up not having to spend a day of his 14 month sentence in jail. Apparently missing the Olympics and being banned from his national team until August 1 of this year carries the same weight, which makes me think swimming is super fun, if not doing it is the same as going to jail.
The altercation occurred on March 30, 2008, the same night D'Arcy was named to the Olympic team after the Australian trials ended in Sydney. And what better way to celebrate than by kneading a fellow teammate's face into swollen dough? To be fair, unlike Sara Daniel, Simon Cowley provoked D'Arcy by slapping him. D'Arcy responded not in continuous attacks like Willoughby, but by one impactful punch that messed up Cowley's whole face.
But D'Arcy paid his dues and will spend the next few months trying to shimmy through the suddenly open window of the world, while Willoughby hopes her foot is planted firmly enough in the door frame to stop it from slamming on her for good.
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